Understanding Disappointment in a Slightly New and Ultimately Nonthreathrening Way

It was a killer soccer game: we outplayed them ten to one, we were playing soccer, their coach stuffed the whole team in the goal for the last quarter except for his one speedy player, and after we lost by one excruciating point, I suddenly realized that you become the coach you don't want to be -- AFTER you lose a game you shouldn't have lost. It's too easy to suddenly get lost in a labyrinth of strategy and revenge (instead I cleaned out the minivan and started grading).