An Unexpected Arrival

I said to Lynn in the car on the way home, "It's not that I"m depressed about anything; I'm not -- I'm just feeling disappointed -- like I've suddenly arrived at a huge dead end, and I've been running so wholeheartedly, so blindly, down this street, that I'm shocked to find myself facing this wall -- but ambivalent about it too. Why try to do anything? -- all agency feels like it's been utterly drained away."